My brother had his first breakfast date with Wyatt (my son) seven years ago. I think they went to the Waffle house, but Wyatt didn’t eat. Wyatt doesn’t remember their “guy” time that morning. The reason that Wyatt doesn’t remember is because Wyatt was only two months old. Angela was working her notice at her former job and Uncle Jeff got off of his third shift job and picked up Wyatt. Wyatt was in his little baby carrier/car seat and together they went to Waffle House. Wyatt didn’t eat. Wyatt didn’t talk. The conversation must have been dull for Uncle Jeff, and yet, that breakfast date began a life-long relationship.
Wyatt does not remember that first breakfast date, but he knows that Uncle Jeff loves him and he loves Uncle Jeff. They build Legos and throw baseballs. When Uncle Jeff is around, I disappear into the background. Their relationship started small and one-sided, but today, seven years later, it is strong and interconnected. Just yesterday, Wyatt had a conversation with his friends about which MLB player was the favorite of Uncle Jeff and Uncle Seth. Today, he loves his uncles, but he only has a relationship with them because they worked hard to love him when he couldn’t even love them back. Uncle Seth drove two and a half hours to be at the hospital the day Wyatt was born, and now Wyatt thinks Uncle Seth walks on water. In fact, he would prefer to hunt with Uncle Seth than with his daddy.
I think that adults in the church can learn a lot from the way my brothers related to my son early in his life. We need a long-term view of our relationships with other people. Building a lasting relationship, especially one that involves discipleship and accountability, will not start off deep and interconnected. In fact, your strongest discipleship relationships may begin awkwardly. You may have to be the person to initiate discipleship relationships and they may even be very one-sided for a while, but don’t give up. Good relationships are worth the work, especially those that yield discipleship and accountability in your life and in the lives of others.
Be willing to embark in one-sided relationships with long-term goals. Wyatt doesn’t remember the first time his uncles held him, but Jeff and Seth do, and they have a great relationship today because my brothers put the work in early. Put in the early hard work to build strong relationships today. You may not reap the fruit of those relationships next week, but don’t stop working; your greatest opportunities for strong relationships may be seven years down the road.
