The Spiritual Discipline of Shutting Up

The practice of spiritual disciplines will aid you in your walk with Jesus and in your walk with others. The more time you spend in Bible reading and prayer, for instance, the more likely you are to be growing in godliness. There are lists of spiritual disciplines and books written about spiritual disciplines. Lists include such disciplines as Bible intake, prayer, fasting, evangelism, worship, meditation, simplicity, silence, and solitude.

One discipline that is conspicuously absent from most lists, but which I find to be incredibly beneficial in my sanctification and in my relationships with others is the spiritual discipline of shutting my mouth. You may practice silence and solitude, but that isn’t the same thing as the discipline of shutting up.

Silence and solitude is the discipline you practice before the Lord. But, the discipline of shutting your mouth is practiced in the presence of others.

Biblically, this discipline is proposed in several passages of scripture:

• James 1:19 — “Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;”
• James 1:26 — “If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person’s religion is worthless.”
• Proverbs 1:8-9 — “Hear, my son, your father’s instruction and forsake not your mother’s teaching for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.”
• Proverbs 10:19 — “When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

There should be time in your life where you practice extended periods of silence and solitude before the Lord. But, there should also be times when you shut your mouth in the presence of others. Be quick to listen. Be patient in listening. Sometimes, when people are saying things that may not be exactly accurate, you will even have to be long-suffering in your listening. But, it may not be helpful to speak.

Your speaking to a fool could be as throwing pearls before swine. Further, if you choose to speak into a subject about which you are ill-informed, you may show yourself to be the fool.

Truthfully, we often speak because we want to be seen as important, or wise, or learned.

Ask yourself regularly, “Why are my words necessary in this moment?” If your words are necessary and beneficial, then by all means, speak. But, if your words are not necessary, it is often best to just listen. To be content to not be the center of a conversation or controversy.

I recently enjoyed a meal with some really ridiculous conversation. As the conversation shifted into a subject about which I am relatively well-informed, it became obvious that one of the people at the table had no idea what she was talking about. She wasn’t hurting anyone. In fact, I suspect that everyone else at the table knew that she was incorrect.

All sorts of words bubbled up inside me. I had corrections, arguments, rebuttals. However, my words were not necessary. No one was being harmed by these words. My corrections would have served to embarrass her, and for no good reason other than to prove that I knew more about the subject.

I have a paper sign taped to the back of my office door that says, “Never miss a good opportunity to shut up.” I thought about my sign during that meal. This was a good opportunity to shut up. National security was not on the line. No one was challenging the authenticity of the gospel.

My grandma always filled her ice cube trays with hot water instead of cold water. Is it true that hot water freezes into ice cubes faster than cold water? Maybe, but probably not. Why did she put hot water instead of cold water? I suspect it had nothing to do with the temperature of the water, but rather with the fact that she was right-handed. She typically held the ice tray with her right hand and turned on the water with her left, thus the hot water was more convenient than the cold water.

Does it matter? NO. The lore in my family is that my grandma did it on purpose. She is dead. I can’t ask her why she did it. If my aunt tells me why she did it and I have another theory, does it really matter?

People sometimes offer me some really outlandish stories. Do they always need to be corrected? Are there times when the most grace-filled and loving thing I can do is simply to be quiet?

We can’t always be quiet. If my dinner conversation from a few weeks ago had been about the gospel or about how to parent children biblically, I may have had to interject a few words of correction. But, nothing of long-term importance was being discussed.

When possible, try to practice biblical wisdom in the use of your words, “Whoever restrains his lips is prudent.”

According to James, without a bridled tongue, your religion is worthless. We don’t put bridles on horses just to keep them from bucking. The bridle controls the horse at a trot and a gallop and everything else in between. Likewise, the bridled tongue is not only to keep you from spouting off angry outbursts. The bridled tongue knows when to be speak and when to be quiet.

The practice of spiritual disciplines will help you to grow in godliness. As you practice the more common disciplines in your life, do not neglect to practice the discipline of shutting up, every opportunity you get. The more you close your mouth, the more cognizant you will become of your own pride and desire to be heard. The more you close your mouth, the more you will listen to others.

Who knows, as you say fewer words, the ones you do utter may grow in value and application. Just by listening to others more patiently, you may develop richer, wiser, and more beautiful words that can impact your world.

Photo by Izzy Park on Unsplash