Parenting is hard work, and sometimes as a parent I fail. In fact, there are days when it seems like all I do is fail as a parent. We all have those days. We are too short with our temper, we are too sharp with our words, we are too disengaged with our attention. It is on those days that I’m glad that I don’t raise my kids in one day. I have 18 years to prepare them for adulthood.
Parenting, like most things in life, is more like a marathon than a sprint. The prize doesn’t normally belong to the fastest or the flashiest, but to those who endure to the end.
Thus, in marriage, parenting, pastoring, college, and even high school, there is much to be said for the power of persistence. I am often asked how hard it is to complete a PhD. My answer is almost always the same: doctoral work is an exercise in time management. The struggle is to manage your time to persist in the mundane tasks of reading, studying, writing papers, and interacting in online chats.
As parents, Angela and I will (by God’s grace) realize our potential not in one day, one week, or one month. We will not look back and identify that one moment that revolutionized our kids. They will probably not remember that one sex talk or the incredibly insightful way that we explained the gospel in June of 2021. What they will remember is whether or not we persisted. Did we regularly seek to shepherd them into the things of the Lord? Did we introduce them to the Scriptures and regularly take them back to God’s word. Did we model a habit of regular church attendance? Did our public ministry match our private lives?
I doubt they will remember any particular apology, but they will remember if they had a mom and dad who modeled enough humility before them to apologize to them and in front of them. Beyond the spiritual, they won’t remember the lessons we give on the ways to eat or practice table manners, but the kinds of food and drink that we put in front of them regularly will shape and mold their tastes into their adult years.
This is the power of persistence.
Parents, don’t despair if you messed up yesterday or this morning or if tomorrow morning looks like something from a dystopian movie. in this world there will be trouble–sometimes it will come from your four year old and sometimes the trouble will come from you, but Christ has overcome the world. Seek forgiveness and move forward.
You didn’t break your kids this morning and your failure as a parent last week didn’t handicap them for life. Get back up again (if it helps, you can even sing this to yourself like Poppy from Trolls), dust yourself off, apologize, repent, and move forward.
So you haven’t been reading the Bible to or with your family. The best time to start was five years ago, but the next best time to start is today. Begin now, and persist. You can make a difference. You don’t have to read the book of Leviticus tonight. Start small. Read Matthew 1. Tomorrow read Matthew 2. It may take you a month to get through the book of Matthew, but with persistence, you will lead your family through God’s word, and they will be shaped and molded.
It isn’t all roses and lollipops. Much of parenting–maybe even most of parenting–is mundane. There are socks to be mated, ballgames to be attended, and homework that has to be done. You will wake kids up for school for at least 13 years. You will be tired and overwhelmed. But, if you persist in doing good, in leading them toward the Lord, there is a prize at the end.
Don’t give up. The race isn’t to the swift or to the strong, but to those who will endure to the end.
