I have a new hobby. I love to make teenagers cry.
Now, I don’t make them cry the way that you might expect. I don’t insult them or tear them down. I don’t tell jokes about their mom or make fun of their hair cut.
But, I do use words. Five special and powerful words:
I am proud of you.
Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the body.” Gracious words. Kind words. Powerful words.
My method is the same every time. I make sure to look kids in the face and make eye contact. Sometimes I even tell them, “look me in the eye, I want to make sure you hear what I’m fixing to say to you.” Then, I hit them with it. “I’m proud of you.”
What happens? Their faces light up. Their mouths erupt into grins. Often, their eyes fill with tears.
These words of affirmation and love break through hard hearts. They break down cool facades. They interrupt busy lives.
Why are these words so powerful? Unfortunately I believe it is because too few kids hear those words from important people in their lives. Too few dads are affirming their kids. Too few moms are announcing their pride. Too many coaches are looking at scoreboards. Too many teachers are staring at computer screens. Grandparents are on their phones. Pastors are not paying attention.
Kids get told what they do wrong. Kids get ignored by their parents. Kids get yelled at and reprimanded. They get taught and lectured. They get coached and challenged. They get made fun of. They get torn down on social media. They get bullied. They crave attention and approval. They act out when they don’t get it.
Words they rarely hear?
I am proud of you.
To be honest, it shouldn’t be this easy to make kids cry. They should be built up and encouraged so regularly that a kind word doesn’t reduce them to tears. But, we apparently live in a world where many kids need are not being built up. We desperately need moms and especially dads to step up and step in. Kids need to know that they are precious and important.
But, if they aren’t hearing it at home or at school or on the ball field, you can make sure that they hear it from you.
Proverbs 25:11 teaches, “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver.” Your words are powerful and valuable. You can change lives one sentence at a time. We can spend our years griping about how bad the world is and complaining about those who are destroying our kids. Or, we can sprinkle apples of gold all around us.
Join me in my new hobby. Make teenagers cry. Look them in the eye and tell them how proud you are of them. If it is appropriate, pat them on the back, put an affirming hand on their shoulder, or give them a hug.
Maybe it is the kid bagging your groceries? Tell him you’re proud. The girl at church without her parents? Tell her how proud you are that she gets herself out of bed and to church all on her own. The guy on your son’s baseball team who’s dad is always screaming at him? Tell him how proud you are of his accomplishments.
And along the way, don’t neglect your own kids. I am far from a perfect parent. But, I make it my goal to tell each of my four kids every day that I love them and I am proud of them. No one will ever take that joy from me. Do they get a little uncomfortable sometimes because I say it too often and even in public? Of course. But that’s OK. They know they are loved and they know if the rest of the world runs out, their daddy is always proud of them.
“Death and life are in the power fo the tongue,” according to Proverbs 18:21. So, give life with your words. Find a young person today, look them in the eye, and pronounce your life-giving blessing:
I am proud of you.
You’ll be glad you did. And so will that kid!
Photo by Antonino Visalli on Unsplash
