The best moment of a wedding is the instant the bride enters the worship space. But, my favorite sight is the groom’s face as his bride walks down the aisle. She is smiling, radiant, and relaxed. He is almost always crying (I don’t judge, because I cried like a baby when I laid eyes on Angela).
As the officiant , I have the best seat in the house. I get to see everything. I see the doors open and the bride appear before the congregation notices. The bride is the centerpiece of a wedding. But, seeing a bride walk down the aisle isn’t my favorite part of a wedding.
Sorry ladies.
The bride has been stressed for weeks and months. She has spent an entire weekend decorating, getting her hair fixed just right, dressing in the most beautiful dress she has ever owned. And, by the time she walks down the aisle, she is not only joyful, she is thankful that the moment has arrived. Brides do not enter their wedding venue with the forced smile of a beauty queen, but the relaxed, radiant smile of a woman who has finally arrived at her destination.
The groom looks at his future wife walking down the aisle and his face registers a full range of emotions.
I don’t know for sure what every groom thinks, but I know what I thought and felt. I felt incredibly blessed and honored that this woman would love me. I thought I was the luckiest man on the planet. And I knew above all else in that moment that I loved her more than life itself.
When I stare into the face of a groom, I assume that he is thinking and feeling the same things I did 15 years ago (yes, today is our fifteenth wedding anniversary). The photo at the top of this post is my favorite wedding photo ever. I’m staring into the face of a man who has just laid eyes on his bride for the first time. When he saw his bride (his name is Will, her name is Marci), he knew he had out-kicked his coverage. He knew that he was blessed beyond belief. He knew that he loved her more than life itself. And I was thrilled to see that look of love in his face.
It is that moment of a wedding that sums up the crux Ephesians 5:22-31. Much ink has been spilled over the imperative for wives to submit to their husbands and husbands to lead their homes. Both of those are biblical. But, what seems to be most often overlooked is the husband’s primary role, “Love your wife as Christ loved the church.”
In the creation account man was made first and woman was taken from him. The very first husband sacrificed for his wife, and the wife became the crown jewel of creation. The same should be true in marriage. But, not just for the sake of marriage. Paul tells us that marriage resembles Christ and his church. How? The husband represents Christ and the wife represents the church. Just as Christ sacrificed to create the church, so too did the first husband sacrifice to create his wife and so too should husbands lead by sacrificing today.
When brides appear, grooms are overcome with one emotion. Love. In that moment, a weepy eyed man is committed to giving his life for the beautiful woman walking down an aisle toward him. He loves her.
Somewhere along the way, if we aren’t careful, we seem to confuse things. We make marriage harder than it should be. Husbands, love your wives. Should you lead her well? Of course, but why? Because you love her. Should she submit to your leadership? Of course, but why? Because you love her so well that following your leadership is a joy, benefit, and blessing.
Fifteen years of marriage has taught me much. I love Angela more today than I even did on that Saturday afternoon when she walked down the aisle of her home church. I try to lead well. She encourages me to lead in our home and she follows my leadership. I never remind her of my role as leader in our home. But, everyday, I do remind her that I love her. Everyday I try to show her that I love her. Everyday I try to lead her, but I do so because I love her and I love Jesus.
Leadership will not cover a multitude of sins in my home. But love will. In loving her well, I affirm her worth and I honor the God’s word. So I love her. I try to love her as Christ has loved me. My efforts are imperfect and I often have to apologize. But, in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, I love her.
Husbands. Love your wives. They deserve it.
