Crowdsourcing, according to Merriam-Webster, is “the practice of obtaining needed services, ideas, or content by soliciting contributions from a large group of people and especially from the online community rather than from traditional employees or suppliers.” It is a relatively new phenomenon and one that has great merit in certain situations. One of my favorite crowdsourcing campaigns was for the Coolest Cooler (honestly, this thing looks amazing.) Interestingly, their Kickstarter campaign was for funding, not for design ideas. Maybe they didn’t want just anybody giving design input. Wikipedia stands as another great example of successful crowdsourcing.
Unfortunately, I see crowdsourcing taking a very negative turn through social media. Many people are using their Facebook, twitter, and Instagram pages as a sort of crowdsource parenting (or marriage) page. I want to go on record as saying that crowdsourcing has its place and is obviously a neat idea for fundraising or market research, but it is a terrible place for you to turn for advice on loving your wife or husband or raising your kids. Here are a few reasons why crowdsource parenting is such a detrimental idea:
- You need REAL community. I know that online community is a reality, but it cannot replace face to face encounters with people you know. You want to know how to discipline your child, then turn to someone who has intimate knowledge of both you and your child. Perhaps those who know you best recognize that the issue is not the form of discipline, but the person enforcing the discipline. I know that is a hard truth, but no one reading your four sentence description on Facebook has actually witnessed your kid throwing a tantrum or you losing your tempter. You need REAL community, not the false community of social media that only sees the side of you that you share.
- You need advice from those who share your worldview. Crowdsourcing, by definition, obtains ideas through non-traditional sources. Your church is a very traditional source and it is within a healthy community of believers that you can find people who share your worldview. Your kid doesn’t want to eat his broccoli. Your Facebook friends may suggest covering it in cheese or discretely baking it into a desert (that sounds disgusting) because healthy eating is what matters most. Those who share your worldview may rightly discern that refusal to eat broccoli is not only a dietary issue, it also reveals the rebellious heart of your two-year old who needs to learn that he does not know what is best. Eating the broccoli as it is served is not only about health, it is about him learning to trust that mom and dad know best and have his best interest at heart. Ultimately, his ability and willingness to trust parents will have ramifications on the way he views his relationship with God.
- Your kids do not deserve to be exploited. The whole world does not need to know that Sarah is wetting the bed or throwing tantrums or getting into trouble at school. You should love your kids enough to seek wise counsel on how to parent them, but you should also love them enough to do it as discreetly as possible. Once you put it online, it is there forever.
- You need to be reminded that the world does not revolve around you. Let’s just be honest, our egos get padded when people comment on our status updates. Using your family problems as an avenue to rack up hits Instagram likes or Facebook comments is narcissistic and inappropriate.
These are lessons I have to constantly learn and remind myself of. I’m learning to get permission from my kids before I post anything about them online or mention them in a sermon. At six and seven, my two kids are beginning to grasp the gravity of social media. Aubrey understands that EVERYONE can see what is posted online and she doesn’t want to be embarrassed. I’m not against crowdsourcing, but I’m utterly convinced that the advice I receive from those who know me best and share my worldview will far trump the advice I would get from hundreds of Facebook comments. I may never be Facebook famous, but that shouldn’t be my goal anyway.
If I ever design a cooler, I’ll look for some advice and funding online, but for my kids, I’ll stick with God’s word and his children to help me raise them up right.
