A Plea To Parents And Coaches: Slow Down

As we linger through the COVID-19 pandemic, the news cycle continues to be very negative. The health, economic, and social outlook is concerning. Yet, when I speak with parents, their first comments about the coronavirus are not fear. Instead, I have heard optimism and relief.

“It really has been nice.”

Repeatedly, parents have said these words to me in an apologetic tone over the past month and a half. We are all concerned about the economy and how the economy can recover. There is concern about the disease and about how it could affect our loved ones. But, overwhelmingly, the parents I speak with are enjoying the down time with their families. And, kids seem to be enjoying the downtime as well.

Yes, kids miss their friends and we as parents look forward to the days when social distancing is behind us. But, very few people seem eager to return to the busy pace of life that has become so normal and expected.

We miss baseball, volleyball, track, and dance. But, in place of all of that busyness, kids have rediscovered bicycles, fishing rods, card games, and “cops and robbers.” Families have made time for devotions and family reading time. Kids are re-learning what it feels like to be well-rested, and parents are remembering what it feels like to spend time with our kids and not just around our kids.

It isn’t only parents either. I spoke with a spring sports coach recently who is really enjoying the down time with his family and, for the moment at least, is asking questions about the sustainability of such a hurried pace.

I am a sports guy and we are a sports family. We have even been working to install a home gym so that we can make sure that we are working out with our kids. But, in recent years, I have grown concerned about the amount of time that organized sports demands of our kids.

Is This Healthy?

I often complain about travel sports, but it isn’t only travel sports. From little league to high school, the commitment level expected out of kids is growing to be unsustainable and unhealthy for our children and our families.

Several years ago one of my former students called and said he was thinking about getting out of coaching football, “I love the kids, I love the game, but it isn’t fun anymore. It is just too much.” An old friend recently told me, “When I started coaching football in 2003, I was asked what two weeks I could commit during the summer to helping out with summer workouts. Today, we are asked what two weeks do we want off during the summer.”

Coaches can’t be given time off because kids can’t be given time off. The expectation is that kids will be committed to their sport all year long. Kids might be better baseball players, better football players, better volleyball players, better cheerleaders, better band members….but at what cost?

I have wrestled with these issues for a long time. I’ve looked for the right time or the right way to speak into our sports culture without being self-righteous or overly preachy. I believe that the right time is now.

Now Is The Time

Right now, extracurricular activities are on hold. Right now, families are reevaluating. Kids are reevaluating. I would imagine there are some spring sports coaches who are reevaluating their lives and the amount of time that sports takes from them.

Parents. Are your kids having fun playing sports? Are your kids getting healthier playing sports?

Coaches, are you building better football players or better citizens? 98% of the kids who play on your hight school teams will never play again after high school. Does your program allow them to have a job that prepares them for the real world, or is your program only concerned with making good ball players?

People talk right now about all of the long-term changes that coronavirus will bring to our culture. But, those hopes of change are misguided. Like cardiovascular patients who stick to diet and exercise for 3 months after a heart attack, if we do not commit to making changes now, there is little hope that this pandemic will change human behavior long term.

So I write today to coaches and parents and ask you to reevaluate the time commitment you are expecting from our teenagers. I write especially to parents, because unless parents demand a change, there is little hope of one coming.

What Is A Healthy Lifestyle?

Sports and other extracurricular activities are a part of a healthy lifestyle, they are not the totality of a healthy lifestyle. Healthy lifestyles include exercise, rest, proper nutrition, education, spiritual nourishment, and family engagement.

Well-rounded citizens are important. When we expect and allow teens and pre-teens to spend upwards of 20 hours per week on an extracurricular activity, there is little hope that they will become well-rounded citizens. They have no time left for part-time jobs, or the pursuit of another hobby. We need kids to graduate high school ready to contribute to society, and being an all-star short stop on the softball team is not a marketable skill.

Sports are not bad. But, it is time to consider the place that sports have in the lives of our children and in the lives of us as parents.

How Much Time is Too Much Time?

The NCAA limits the number of hours per week that a student-athlete can spend in sports related activities (practices, meetings, workouts, and games) to 20 hours. However, middle and high school athletes in South Carolina have no such limitations. Why, and at what cost?

The time is now for parents and coaches to reevaluate. Parents and coaches can work together to ensure that students are finding a healthy balance. This framework may look a little different in each community, at each age level, and even for particular sports. But the time is now to begin asking the questions: How much time is too much time?

Coaches love their sports and they love the kids they coach. But, parents, remember, your children are your responsibility. Ask hard questions. Wrestle with hard answers. Work with coaches to come up with solutions that best fit your kids and our culture. The future of your kids and even our country may very well depend on it.

Related: Parenting After the Pandemic

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